Mari Craig, LCSW-C, CCDC, CPC

Archive for June, 2012|Monthly archive page

Benefits of Divorce Coaching

In Divorce, Living, Rockville MD Divorce Coach on June 7, 2012 at 11:02 pm

The most important gift to give yourself when transitioning out of a marriage or relationship is to focus on the one person who matters most…you.  Yet, this can be the hardest thing to do at a time when you are feeling the most vulnerable.  During marriage both partners develop a shared identity and when it has ended they suffer the loss of that identity that leaves each person feeling a chasm of loneliness. 

Many newly separated and divorced people experience the feeling of being in a fishbowl with life swirling around in confusion. These myriad feelings are best worked through with the guidance of a divorce coach who is able to help you understand and cope with the stages of grief.   It is during this time that finding your inner compass becomes imperative.

To navigate this uncharted territory the guidance you receive from divorce coaching helps you discover a path of clarity and provides support before, during and after divorce.  It also helps you to determine the best interests of your children and provides support to help you rebuild your life.

The guidance you receive before, during and after divorce provides the continuity of knowing that you have professional support that will help you go the distance throughout the entire process.  It is easy to get off track when friends are influencing you, however with a divorce coach you are working with the one person who can be completely objective from a professional perspective.

Your divorce coach provides accountability and a reliable structure that fosters safety in a non-judgmental setting that helps you articulate your goals and needs. Coaching helps you to ascertain what issues are important, and to communicate them more effectively with your mediator(s) and/or legal counsel. In this way you will break through barriers and make greater progress in discovering the strategies that are right for you.

As previously stated, a divorce coach helps you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. I have found that the Intentional Life Power Program, which I have developed, is uniquely effective for helping my clients accomplish their goals and set priorities.  You too, can learn to visualize and manifest the intention you have set for yourself. In eight simple steps you develop your personal roadmap to get you where you need to be.

The ILP Chart you have written it should be similar to one by Danielle a recently divorced client with whom I coached through a difficult transition.  She articulated difficulty with low self-esteem and no clear plan on how to deal with it. With my help, she honed an intention to build positive self-esteem with a clear plan for the next twelve months (5 to 6 on a scale of 10).  She began to focuse her energies by developing a clear action plan.   By envisioning the person she wanted to become on a daily basis she was able to imagine her self-esteem growing.  “I see myself deserving to be an Independent and confidant woman.  I see myself going through the day building positive self-esteem with a clear plan for the next twelve months (5 to 6 on a scale of 10).  I vividly envision nurturing myself through prayer and by meditating on the words power and calm and by passionately envisioning my intention twice daily. “  Danielle “took the leap” by manifesting her intention on a regular basis and saw evidence in her daily life that she was growing in positive self-esteem.

If you were an athlete your body would be conditioned by daily workouts to win at your sport. So it is with manifesting your intention. I recommend completing your ILP Chart on a large sheet of paper and monitoring your progress daily. Place both the Chart and progress monitor sheet on a wall where it will be easily seen. You may make changes as needed to keep both current.

Just as Danielle has been able to accomplish her intention with commitment and coaching so can you. This transition period is an excellent time for introspection, growth and building an authentic relationship with yourself.  It is also a good time for taking an inventory of past mistakes, self– discovery and planning for the future.  This is your opportunity to become centered, focused and mature in your own right to insure that your future will be stable and happy with the support of your own divorce coach.